So the dogmobile lives!
I bought this off Alex back in October as a hack and believe me it's been treated as such.
Now before I get flamed for saying the above:
1: I have actually taken care of the car mechanically- just not cared about the odd ding/scratch/muck as I normally do
2: I'm fully aware of the work that was put into it by Alex, Vard and co. and I do appreciate that.
3: It's still around and in full use
Now I bought it knowing full well just how shockingly bad it was rust wise - Alex knew this and sold it to me in good faith. I have no reservations and would once again like to thank Alex for selling it to me!
Now onto the not so pretty stuff... those who are squeamish may want to look away.
Rust
Oh dear god
RUST
HOW IS THIS EVEN STILL.. you know what I don't care - sod it, the shell is completely gone I'm just going to bash some plates on to get it another MOT when the time comes!
What I was initially greeted with - not that horrendous at first glance
Smack it with an 'ammer until lumps stop falling off and... (Just to reiterate, I knew it was rotten before I started)
That would explain the creaking, the sodden boot, and the iffy electrics.
The ENTIRE inner wheel arch had rusted away to the point where there is ZERO strength in that section of the car, as the rear wheel is somewhat of a McPhearson strut this allowed the rear wheel to move a rather large amount under load. You could feel it move by varying amounts depending on how you drove it (and I'll be honest with that ludicrously addictive noise... who wouldn't!
)
Anyhow,
Commence operation bean tin patching (AKA "Press 'n' stick")
Dig out some 1.2mm plate from the scraps box - cut it into 30mmx 80mm bits (ish)
Eldest brother wants a go hot-melt-gluing and promptly
welds a plate on in such a way to effectively weld the rear door shut *faceplams* Gee thanks Marko!
Drivers side was actually ok apart from a little on the sill end
After regaining some air into my lungs and cutting off the freshly applied patch, operation Press 'n' Stick continued
Back over to the passenger side
By this point our stocks of scrap 1.2mm plate are dwindling and I didn't fancy breaking into a new full sheet - dug around and found an X308 front wing in our spares pile "Marko, mind if I use this for repair patches?"
Removed what remained of the original rear wheel arch and "grafted" on the x308 arch (Read as tack it on at one end and hit it with a hammer until it fits where it touches)
Cut out the rest of the rot - also discovered the very shonky sill repair done previously - 0.8mm sheet steel tacked on with a gasless mig after cutting out the ENTIRERETY of the structural inner sill. Doesn't matter - it will probably outlast the rest of the car anyhow, just praying I don't have a smack in it
Some rather large holes resulted - attack it with an angle grinder fitted with the worlds most aggressive wire cup brush and begin stitching it back together. No really stitching, I cut away as much as I dared without bracing the shell and still there were areas where I was attempting to weld rust.
Glorious aubergine purple "repair" patches a la Jaguar
Many HOURS spent cramped inside the wheelarch with welding spatter adding to my collection of car related scars and we have the worlds patchiest collection of patches - would make the knit your own spaghetti brigade happy
Phew! Yes it's pigeon poo "welding" No I don't care - it's stuck
If you folks hadn't already guessed I am fully aware that this is not a repair - this is a
BODGE of epic proportions.
Is it safe?
Yes (on the basis the car no longer tries to punt you backwards a la Porsche for attempting to go around a roundabout...)
Would I do it to a car I have the intention to sell?
No
Would I do this to a car for someone else or to a "keeper"?
No
Moving on
Gave everything a goodly wire brush then a glorious coat of BLACK
The aftermath of BLACK is never pretty - even with latex gloves...
I do apologise to the Ladies present, nobody wants to see that - Mother was at least amused enough to snap a picture
To finish, a carefully applied coat of Aldi not-even-remotely-close British Racing Green
I did go back and give it another coat before you ask!
And there we have it - a pair of fine machines ready to tackle another who knows how many miles between them!
To finalise - Do
not do this to your own car unless you REALLY are going to be it's last keeper before the bean tins become more bean tins.
I cannot stress this strongly enough.
I hope my writings gave you a smile
For an example of how to do it - this is my mates Peugeot 106 that I welded up for him "properly" (to the best of my knowledge and ability at the time)
Welding OEM 0.6mm steel with 0.8mm welding wire is hard at the best of times - Lesson learned, next time I'm learning how to TIG or buying and Aluminium bodied car!
As for the future of the 827 it can go a few of ways:
1: Samson (My Aunts old Mini Clubman) Needed tops £50 and one more patch per MOT
2: One more MOT then bean tins
3: Same as option 1 but deliberate "thug mobile" think like the Rat Patrol 820 of Alex's rocking 16" Steelies
4: Similar to option 3 but give my little cousins a box of every-colour-under-the-sun sharpies and let them go nuts with their creativity - then blow a coat of lacquer over it for laughs
Or the current option which is lend it to The Old Man to use for tip runs as his Jag doesn't have a towbar - after welding on an old XJ40 back box to stop him complaining about the noise...
)
