Merry Christmas to all!

[Jon R]

Merry Christmas and a happy new year to all

[Tenesmus]

Happy Festivus... although I guess the owner of the written off Rover 45 on the way in to work yesterday morning hasn't got off to a great start...

[vito]

Best wishes all from myself and Mrs V ................

[Richard Moss]

I remember getting a card once that had a picture of Father Christmas riding a donkey with the poem:

I'm writing this letter to tell you that
The Taxman has taken away
All of the things that I value _
My reindeer, my helpers, my sleigh.

All I have left is this donkey
He's old and he's tired and slow
So if you don't get your presents this Christmas
I'm out on my ass in the snow

[Jon R]

Your funny posts reminded me of this oldie...
CHRISTMAS CAKE
Ingredients:
1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
lemon juice
4 large eggs
nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle of vodka
To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.

Repeat.

Turn on the electric mixer.
Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
Add one teaspoon of sugar.
Beat again.
At this point it's best to make sure the vodka is shtill ok
Try another cup...just in case
Turn off the mixerer thingy.
Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
Pick the frigging fruit off floor.
Mix on the turner.
If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with
drewscriver.
Sample the vodka to check for ton sisticicity.
Next, sift two cups of salt. or something. WHo giveshz a sh*t
Check the vodka.
Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon
of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.

Greash the oven. Turn the sorcerpan 360 degrees and try not to fall over.
Don't forget to beat off the turner.
Finally, throw the bowl through the window,
Finish the vodka and kick the cat.

CHERRY MISTMAS!